When I’ve worked with people who struggle with porn and sexual addictions, I have found a common issues faced by them – loneliness!

Pornography Is a Lonely Activity

Pornography is a lonely activity. Why?

  1. Viewing pornography is a lonely pursuit. By design, the very search and viewing of pornography occurs in a private and isolated setting.
  1. Seldom is there any pride in this activity. No one says, “Hey, everyone, look at what I am doing! Join me?” Instead it is kept very secretive and private.
  1. Even the stirrings of desire and lust often occur during a time of loneliness. A brief or extended period of time in which someone is alone can fill one with loneliness. The desire for a “relationship” often triggers the desire for pornography as a quick fix.
  1. But because lonely feelings are only “satisfied” and numbed temporarily, the desire for more pornography compels people to seek more of the same empty solution in hopes of finding satisfaction.
  1. Finally, the effects of pornography, and other forms of self-indulging activities, lead to more isolation because of the embarrassment and shame associated with them.

Help for the Loneliness of Pornography: Build Healthy Relationships

One of the most effective ways to fight the pull of pornography and isolation is found in one of our most basic of all needs – the need for relationships. It is here that the human needs for love, acceptance and affirmation are met. And, because loneliness is a basic entry point into the isolated world of pornography, relationships of love and acceptance can provide a pathway back to life.

When making a humble and even desperate choice to leave the dark and lonely isolation of pornography, relationships are especially important.

  1. Having group of other same-sex men or women to turn to is crucial. Here others are found who are at different points in their re-emergence back into life find a common understanding and acceptance.
  1. Being in a personal mentoring relationship is also important. Here accountability and encouragement can help, especially if that person has gone through a similar struggle.
  1. Careful disclosing with family and friends can be also important. This is an opportunity to break down the walls and reveal any secrets that have created confusion and frustration
  1. And seeking a Christian counselor a vital step in the journey out of loneliness. Here a person can share about the lonely journey into isolation – whether over a life time or recently – and find ways to reconnect with others in loving, accepting way without fear or shame.

If you or any one you know struggles with pornography, consider calling this office to find freedom from isolation.

Christian counselor Dr. Douglas Frey believes in Biblical principles and bringing forth God’s grace in meetings and sessions. Call or email Douglas Frey Ph.D. (952-920-2789) for help with your relationships and relationship problems. He is a licensed Christian counselor serving individuals and families in Eden Prairie, Chanhassen, Chaska, Shakopee, Minnetonka, Edina and other Minneapolis area Suburbs.