Words Matter, Part I

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Words matter in more ways than you can imagine. Have you ever heard these words?

Words of Discouragement

“That’s a silly, dumb idea.”

“You can’t do that. Don’t even bother”

“You’ll fail and embarrass yourself.”

Words of Unforgiveness

“I’ll never forget what you did.”

“After what you did, no one will like or trust you again.”

“There is no hope for you. I’m leaving.”

Words from a “bully”

“Look at you, you’re so ugly.”

“You’re such a loser.”

These are the words, not of a delusional man or woman, but of a hurting, confused and discouraged person. Sadly these are the words I hear every day in my office from people. And, honestly, these same words have at times shouted in my soul and mind too.

The Origin and Impact of Negative Words

These demeaning and discouraging words can come from many sources in life. It may be memories of a neighborhood bully, a family member, teacher or coach who intentionally mocked us or unknowingly made a loose comment.

Sometimes these words could have come from a close friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse who said things in a hurtful way. Or maybe a classmate, colleague or boss spoke made a hurtful comment about us.

Often, I find that people self-judge and bully themselves with negative comments using their own words and voice. Critical and demeaning words of not being good enough, not smart enough not pretty enough or having failed others or ourselves in life are repeated mentally throughout the day, or sometimes even spoken aloud.

Words with Impact

When we hear degrading and discouraging words in life, the impact can be severe. We might not have confidence. We may become immobile. We may lack resiliency or do not persevere though challenging times.

Some people can become angry and fight back against the bullies in life, or they may surrender and serve others who seem to be smarter, stronger and more successful believing they themselves will never achieve success or love.

Word matter! Words can make both a negative impact, and a positive impact. In my next article, I’ll share with you how words can be positive. If you’ve experience too many hateful or hurtful words in your life, stay tuned. Some words are meant to push the negative ones from your mind and heart.

Christian counselor Dr. Douglas Frey believes in Biblical principles and bringing forth God’s grace in meetings and sessions. Call or email Douglas Frey Ph.D. (952-920-2789). He is a licensed Christian counselor serving individuals and families in Eden Prairie and nearby Chanhassen, Chaska, Shakopee, Minneapolis, Edina, Minnetonka and other Western Suburbs.

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