The Letter “A” and the Principles of Acceptance, Part 2

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If you’re starting with this article, you may wish to read Part I to understand the context. In my last post, I identified the feelings of “yuck” we may feel when people ignore, mock or reject us. This may be based on personal features, traits, or preferences we have. That “yuck” feeling can be very hurtful.  This I compared to the “yuck” I felt towards asparagus when growing up.

In contrast to rejection, when we accept asparagus and are accept ...

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Practical Life Principles from A to Z

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Over the years, I have embraced many practical ideas. These have been often shared in office, classroom, and seminar settings over the years. I thought I’d share them with you, and I hope you find them useful.

Part I: The Letter A and the Principle of Acceptance

“Yuck to asparagus”

Let me begin with the lowly and lonely vegetable called asparagus.  This misunderstood vegetable has been the object of rejection and bad jokes for years. The word “YUCK” has been used countless times ...

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Part 2: Why Confession Is Good for Your Soul

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In my last blog post in this series, I made specific reference to the importance of disclosing to your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend things that may impact your relationship. This included things they may know, things they know nothing about, or things that they only know a portion about. In almost all situations, I put forward the idea that they need to know the more about what you’ve been hiding. It’s usually good for your relationships.

Examples of Personal Secrets

Before speaking ...

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Why Confession Is Good for the Soul

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Our blog title today shares an old saying, “Confession is good for the soul.”

In this brief series, let me share about three areas of confession and why “Confession is good for the soul.”  Part 1 will about confessions to the people closest to us: our spouse, fiancé, or a serious boyfriend or girlfriend.

Examples of Secrets

We usually confess our deepest and darkest secrets. But what are secrets? A secret may be an activity, habit or addiction around alcohol or drugs, a ...

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Anger, Part 2: How Other People’s Anger Affects You

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Previously we talked how you accept and express anger in constructive or destructive ways.  In Part 2, I would like to again give you some reflection questions and offer ways to handle now the anger of others in constructive ways.

Here are several reflection questions. Check off each one that you think applies to you.

How would you answer the following?

 Do you recognize when others seem angry or express anger?

 Do you feel surprised, uncomfortable or ...

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Anger Part 1: What Part Does Anger Play in Your Life?

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While anger is a familiar and universal experience, how it is accepted and expressed can create confusion, fear, and even regret. There are also positive ways to express and manage anger.

In this two-part series, I will begin with a focus on personal anger – yours and mine – and how we can manage this strong emotion in our lives.

How Well Do You Manager Anger? A Quiz

The following is a brief inventory on your view and use of anger:

  • Do you recognize ...
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I’ve Been Called Dr. Shrink

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I’ve been called many things over the years, both personally and professionally. While some of these terms cannot be repeated here, here are a few I can share.

I’ve been called some of these names:

  • Doctor Shrink
  • A doctor to the crazies
  • A mentalist
  • A head examiner
  • Doctor Freud
  • Doctor Phil
  • A Doctor Phil want-a-be
  • A prober of the soul
  • A reprogramer
  • A waste of time
  • A blessing

Some are flattering, some are not. Others terms can seem somewhat confusing, some mysterious, and a few outright insulting.

Depending on one’s perspective, experience, and understanding ...

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Embracing Differences in a Christian Marriage

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Let me begin this writing with the title from the 1987 movie “classic,” Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It was and is a favorite of mine, and starred Steve Martin and the late John Candy. Without going into a movie critique, let me simply borrow two modes of transportation and portray a silly conversation.

Imagine the plane saying this to the train:

“You’re so slow, cautious and rigid! All you can do is conform and stay on one course (the tracks). ...

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The Characteristics of Loving Homes: Part 2

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In my last article, I cited seven characteristics of successful and happy marriages. In this writing I would like to continue with TWO more observations. I have found that how a couple allows each other “Voice” and “Vote” matters.

What Is Voice?

One of the hallmarks found in a marriage and outside of the home is the freedom to share one’s point-of –view with each other. I call this having a voice.

Sharing one’s voice includes the following:

  • Communicating personal thoughts, feelings, mood, and ...
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Characteristics of Loving Homes: Part 1

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In over 30 years serving homes as a Christian counselor, I have noticed some qualities that are found in loving and “successful” homes. Here is Part 1 of an ongoing series on the characteristics of these marriages.

The Characteristics Found in Loving Homes

Several characteristics are shared among the loving and successful homes that I’ve observed through my career as a Christian counselor. These include:

Respect – Partners value the other and express dignity towards each other.

Appreciation – Thankfulness is presented in words, ...

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